In case you haven’t heard, Los Angeles voters will decide the fate of medical marijuana dispensaries on May 21st, 2013 (click here to find your polling place). Voters will also elect a new mayor on the 21st; I am supporting Eric Garcetti, but that’s an entirely separate issue. Today I’m going to focus on the medical marijuana ballot measures, specifically Measure D and Measure F. There’s also Measure E, but it’s been abandoned by its creators in favor of Measure D. I didn’t really want to delve into this mess because of my volunteering at Humboldt Relief. But I can’t sit passively on the sidelines during a massive disinformation campaign. I’ve seen so much nonsense online in the last the few weeks that I feel compelled to lay out the facts without inserting my personal opinions at this time, for the most part anyway. I’ll be writing an impassioned follow up next week where I will reveal my true feelings about this nastiness, so stay tuned.
I’ve taken the liberty of breaking the information up into easily digestible chunks. If you’re too stoned to understand this, well, no worries, you’re not the voting type anyway. Before we dive into the legal babble, do your civic duty and read the damn ballot measures already:

Measure D Measure F

What Would Measure D Do To Dispensaries?

1. Collective Status: No post-ICO collectives, which leaves roughly 135 pre-ICO dispensaries so long as said dispensaries comply with all applicable regulations. Collectives must be in good standing with the city, meaning that they must not have outstanding tax bills.
2. Location: No dispensaries may operate on land zoned for residential use. Additionally, no dispensaries within 1,000 ft. of schools or 600 ft. of places where people congregate, including parks, libraries, places of worship, youth or child care centers, drug or alcohol treatment centers, and other dispensaries. Ouch.
3. Hours of Operation: 10am to 8pm. No more 3 am pickups in shady parking lots.
4. Cultivation Location Exemptions: Private grows maintained by no more than 3 qualified patients and/or primary caregivers are exempt.
5. Code of Conduct: No medicating on-site (goodbye hash bars), no alcohol or other drugs, no minors under the age of 18 unless accompanied by a parent or legal guardian.
6. Taxation: Increases the medical marijuana tax rate from $50 to $60 for every $1,000 in gross receipts.
7. Dispensary Owners and Employees: Owners and managers must identify themselves and report personal address information to the city annually. All employees in management positions must submit to an LAPD LiveScan background check. Owners may not own or manage more than 1 dispensary.

What Would Measure F Do To Dispensaries?

1. Collective Status: No limit on the number of legal collectives; All collectives must (A) Register with the city clerk; 2 priority registration periods designated for qualified dispensaries; all other collectives may apply during general registration period; (B) Possess Business Tax Registration Certificate; (C) Possess a State Board of Equalization Seller’s Permit; (D) Not have outstanding tax bills within 30 days of registration with the city; (E) Not be more than 60 days overdue on business tax registration at time of collective registration.
2. Location: No dispensaries may operate on land zoned for residential use. Additionally, no dispensaries within 1,000 ft. of schools or 500 ft. of places where people congregate, including parks, libraries, places of worship, youth or child care centers, drug or alcohol treatment centers, and other dispensaries.
3. Hours of Operation: 10am to 10pm. Still no late night shenanigans.
4. Cultivation Location Exemptions: All dwellings zoned as residential are exempt from compliance, meaning regulations do not apply to non-commercial cultivation.
5. Code of Conduct: No medicating on-site, no alcohol (there’s an entire section outlawing the sale of alcohol, as if this is some kind of rampant problem), absolutely no minors under any circumstances.
6. Taxation: Increases the medical marijuana tax rate from $50 to $60 for every $1,000 in gross receipts. Receipts include non-cash contributions to collectives, such as any form of reimbursement or exchanges in kind.
7. Dispensary Owners and Employees: Dispensaries must provide names and a background check for everyone who dispenses marijuana at the collective (i.e. the vendors—growers beware, Measure F is coming for YOU, too); any manager, employee, or volunteer at a collective must pass a LiveScan background check in order to qualify for any position at a collective; managers must be registered with the city and pass the LiveScan background check (forgive me for their redundancy).
8. Additional Time, Place, and Manner Restrictions: Here’s where F gets downright ridiculous…in order to remain open, dispensaries must do the following: Store medication in a safe that’s bolted to the floor overnight; Not engage in the manufacture of concentrates (a lil dab will screw ya); Not operate as for profit entities (already covered in the AG guidelines, but now would have force of law in LA); Make 2 daily bank drops and may not have more than $200 in cash on the premises overnight; Install bars or have other “reasonable”security in place to prevent theft; Maintain a 24 hour video surveillance system (who doesn’t already?); Lock exterior doors and allow remote entry only (another thing everyone does already); Hire a licensed and uniformed guard to patrol during business hours (does not specify whether or not this individual should be armed or unarmed—bizarre omission); Post a sign with the number of a 24 hour on call manager for people to report problems to (imagine the phone calls about how the free joints aren’t dank enough at midnight); Provide a parking space for every 300 ft. of collective floor space(since when do tenants control parking access to rental spaces?); File an audit conducted by a certified public accountant with a the City Controller every year( just paying taxes isn’t good enough); Analyse samples of medical cannabis and edible products before distributing said medication to patients (this provision states that said medication cannot test positive for pesticides beyond levels established by nonexistent food and drug statutory standards).