Name: Toffee Turtles: Decadent. Medicated. Delicious.

My Rating: A-

Type: Organic cannabis butter based (120 mg of THC per piece) made with top shelf Sour Diesel and Blue Dream strains.

Taste: 10 Let me put it this way: when my friend popped one in his mouth he said, “That’s dangerous.” I asked why and he replied, “Because it’s real sweet, tastes more like chocolate than weed.”

Potency: 7 I ate one truffle candy thingie and got pretty damn high. But when I eat super potent edibles, I get totally knocked out. These didn’t put me to sleep, and I have a low tolerance for edibles. So I’m thinking folks with higher tolerances would have to eat at least 2 pieces to get the desired effect. Please remember to take it slow with Toffee Turtles and all other medical cannabis products. Eat 1 on an empty stomach, and wait at least an hour before you eat more.

Medication Duration: Hard to say because I ate it around 9:30 pm and fell asleep around 1 am. I know I was high for at least 3 hours.

Effects: 9 Toffee Turtles got me trippin fool.

Bummers: Mild paranoia, jitteriness (Note: I was the only one who experienced these side effects. My friends all reported positive results).

My Toffee Turtles Trip

This is why I don’t eat edibles.

I normally avoid cannabis edibles because they either knock my ass out, which isn’t exactly exciting, or they trip me out. That’s not to say eating them is entirely awful. They just hit me in waves of varying intensity and give me a wound up, speedy feeling. But tripping isn’t always a bad thing; in fact, sometimes you need a good freak out to keep yourself in check. That said, I’m always down to try medicated treats at least once. So when Toffee Turtles offered to supply my collective with a few product samples, I decided to take one for the team.

The packaging is very professional, and I can’t believe I forgot to snap a few pics of it. The plastic containers are nothing special, but they invested in sleek, elegant labels with excellent typography. Toffee Turtles get bonus branding points because plenty of edibles feature labels clearly made with consumer grade printers and no sense of style. Blah. Anyway, the shiny circular sticker stands out in the right way. When you open the lid, you see 3 oval shaped chocolates draped in a toffee topping. They look pretty fancy, and don’t use other people’s products without permission (all too common among edibles).

The flavor is super sweet, rich, and complex with mild cannabis undertones. The distinct weed flavor really comes out as an aftertaste, hence my friend’s remark about them being dangerous…dangerously delicious. A novice or already medicated patient could easily polish off an entire tin without batting an eyelash. I confess I wanted MORE, but exercised restraint because excess often leads to disaster on the edible front.

I felt an initial buzz within a few minutes. A moderate tingling sensation spread from my mouth to my toes. Within 45 minutes, I was fully baked, obsessing over our latest print ad design in Green Acres magazine. As I stared at the page, I kept thinking that the artwork was not summery enough for the season. And then I looked up, and saw an awesome new ad in my mind with a relaxing beach motif. I furiously sketched out the concept, opened Photoshop, and transformed the vision into reality.

I have Toffee Turtles to thank for this creative breakthrough. The only problem was that my creative burst came along with mild panic. I attribute these symptoms to a combination of stress and PTSD, neither of which relate to Toffee Turtles tasty treats. A few days later, some patient friends got a taste of their own, and reported the usual relaxation/couchlock. Two of them said it was the longest, best high they’d ever gotten from an edible. In sum, patients with PTSD should medicate with caution. Everyone else should feel free to indulge.

You can learn more about Toffe Turtles at their website: http://toffeeturtles.com/